


A stone to build upon

by Veraverorum (your_Mother)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Disabled Character, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sibling Incest, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 22:58:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5393402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_Mother/pseuds/Veraverorum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili thinks he no longer deserves loves. He's wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A stone to build upon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spnhell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnhell/gifts).



> I tried to fulfill my prompt at best since this is my first complete FiKi story and I wanted to write one for this pairing for so long. It turned out lighter than what I had in mind but I hope it will still be liked :3  
> It still needs to be betaed so please if you spots errors, let me know  
> Happy festivities!

Dwarves were forged by Mahal to thrive under Stone, between her welcoming arms that shielded their people from Arda's cruelty.  
  
Yet Fili missed the outside world. He missed the sun kissing his skin bronze and his hair wheat in the summer; and he missed the cold wind icing that same skin during winter, when working at the fire of a forge was considered a benediction. Fili missed the breeze running through his mane while riding on a pony.  
  
Oh he missed that part so much!  
Riding. Walking. It was odd thinking about those actions as part of the past.  
The present that Fili was living was different. Very much so.  
  
It had felt so strenuous to open his eyes again, and when he discovered what had happened that day... Fili could still feel the tips of his fingers shiver even now, and he concentrated on that to forget about other terrible memories.  
  
So the prince - a proper prince now, with a kingdom that one day would be his – focused on different things.  
  
Thanks to other members of the Company though, it had been manageable.  
  
Bifur and Bofur had built him a wheelchair, a wonderful one with strong wheels of iron and easy manual commands that permitted Fili to travel across most of Erebor's guts. They considered it one of their most egregious works, even if Fili always smiled remembering the proud tone in Bofur's voice every time he said “Lad, believe me, your doll is still one of the most requested in my shop!” to lift up the prince's spirit.  
  
Sometimes Nori visited him, knives carefully disguised in his ample sleeves now of precious material to sneak them in the royal chambers unnoticed by the royal guards, and challenged Fili at close quarters matches in a friendly manner. It didn't matter who would win them, as long as the prince exercised the muscles of his arms and got a laugh out of it.  
  
Even a violin was brought to him, like the old times, and Fili practised with it to regain coordination and dexterity that way too.  
  
Kili had been by his side from the beginning, showing such patience that Fili would have never prized his brother for if he hadn't seen it with his own two eyes.  
Whenever Fili threw the bow on the ground out of frustration Kili picked it up and tenderly caressed the clenched fist with his own fingers to open it up like a flower even if it was the roughed hand of a warrior, gingerly putting it back in Fili's hand and softly asking for some more music to encourage Fili.  
  
Had his brother always been so..? Affectionate, yes. Supportive, yes too. How could it be otherwise if they grew up being the despair of the whole dwarfish settlement in Ered Luin? But had Kili always looked at him with such eyes? Deep brown eyes, lost if Fili didn't look in them?  
  
Even in other moments of his daily routine, Kili stood close to his brother. Never leaving Fili's side.  
At breakfast and lunch and dinner, when Fili worked at his post, Kili was never afar from him; when Fili bathed, Kili bathed with him to help his brother.  
  
“You shouldn't spend so much time catering to my needs,” Fili remembered saying to Kili one day, responsibility surfacing as he felt he was anchoring Kili to him “I may be.. less active than I was once, but I can still take care of myself.”  
  
“I know” smiling in such a sad way, lowering his gaze, Kili had answered “but I'm an egoist. I almost lost you once. And I can't think of a world where you're not there with me.”  
  
Fili had been struck hard in his core then, eyes almost watering with emotion, and never questioned his brother's reasons again.  
  
  
  
So they had spent their years close to one another, more than when they had been dwarflings, constant presences in each other's lives. Even when they could have had very separate existences.  
  
Fili was training under Thorin and Balin to become the future king of their reborn kingdom, a prosperous mountain for him to rule and guide and protect, while Kili trained with the guards and mister Dwalin to protect that same kingdom in another way.  
  
“Will you be able to bear this weight alone?” Thorin asked Fili, bent over his nephew's shoulder, the drape embroidered with the Line of Durin laid on a table in front of them “You're over your first hundred by now.”  
  
Momentarily loosing focus from his late uncle's face, one of the many family members Kili and him had no chance to meet, Fili tried to rearrange his uncle's words in a different order in search of a more subtle meaning than the obvious one Thorin was pointing at.  
  
Would Fili actually be forced to take a spouse? The idea made his heart squeeze. Just thinking about a loveless marriage of convenience, a stranger intruding in his life and having to pity him for his incapability to walk, to resent Fili for his inability imposed on the spouse.. That must have been the reason for Fili's pain. That!  
“It seems to me that you managed fairly well all by yourself, Thorin. And I'm learning from the best.” Fili was talking with the utmost respect for his uncle, but that didn't mean he was one who would let others walk all over him. He was to be a future king, for Mahal's sake!  
  
Thorin looked at Fili like he was seeing him for the first time, like he was seeing a statesman showing his true shape under rogue material. Exactly what Thorin had been working on for in all those years, but he didn't need that revelation in that precise moment. Trapped between a sigh and a smile Thorin patted his nephew's shoulder, leaving him alone with some last words to reflect upon “Take your time. Think about it. Erebor is still growing.”  
  
Fili remained in the room for quite a long time, to wrap his mind around what prospected to be Thorin's biggest fiasco.  
  
  
  
That night, as all the previous nights, Fili was in his room playing the violin for a chatty Kili. They sat in front of the fireplace in Fili's bedroom, Fili on his wheelchair and Kili against one of the wheels, head leaning against the armrest and hands wildly showing practical concepts of his day in the army. But he didn't seem satisfied by the response of his audience, or the lack thereof of said response.  
  
“... and then Smaug returned and eat everyone.” Kili spied up his brother's face, but nothing had changed. He was still enraptured playing his violin and not showing signs of actually having listened to any of Kili's words, unlike his usual.  
  
Kili put one of his hands on Fili's elbow, effectively stopping the melody “What's taking you away from me tonight?”  
  
Looking down at Kili, Fili could clearly see his puppy expression. A dissatisfied puppy at that. A short explanation would not be enough to erase that pout from Kili's face, even if it was a cutely hilarious pout, so Fili slowly put down his precious violin on the unoccupied side of his wheelchair.  
He toyed around for some seconds with Thorin's words, wanting to find the less upsetting way to say it “Thorin thinks I shouldn't be alone in ruling Erebor.”  
  
“Well, you're not!” Kili said like Thorin's words had personally insulted him. How could their uncle even think that he wouldn't be at his brother's side always, even when it regarded political matters that were not of Kili's understanding? He would always support Fili!  
“There's me! And there's Balin! Well, probably not for forever. But there are other trusted adviso-” Kili kept going, but Fili interrupted him.  
  
“That's not what Thorin meant.” Fili moved back some wild hair from his face and was not surprised to see Kili's hand still gripping his elbow. Fili had noticed it since after the war: Kili had become more physical, more needy if possible. Like he feared to see his beloved disappear right under his nose; Fili could not blame him so he accepted every touch for what it was. Affection.  
“Thorin thinks I should take a spouse.”  
Kili gasped loudly and Fili could not agree more with him “Probably a political match, too.”  
  
Letting his brother's arm go, Kili curled up at Fili's feet like he wanted to take up as little space as possible. His voice was little more than a whisper when he talked, a plea “But.. He can't! You can't!”  
  
“He gave me some time to think about it” Fili reassured him caressing his head. Hair still unkept and not braided, as if Kili was still a dwarfling “But I don't have any intention to.”  
  
Kili's head rose up immediately “I'm glad you-”  
  
“It's not up to Thorin to use me as a pawn for whatever plan.” Fili interrupted him, keeping the calm tone of somebody who had repeated those same lines over and over to believe in them “Plus, I don't want to burden someone with... _me_.””  
  
Standing on his own two feet like a bolt had run through him, Kili turned to face Fili “What are you even saying?!”  
  
His eyes were open wide and his mouth was trembling. Or maybe every part of him was trembling, but Fili could concentrate on little beside Kili's mouth, open like he wanted to growl but not daring to. It would have been a frightening sight if Fili wasn't sure his brother loved him.  
Kili's eyes were keeping Fili pinned to his seat. Not like he had much of a choice, but he still wouldn't have moved away. There was a raw sentiment in Kili's wide eyes, hurt, and Fili felt like he was the only one who could soothe him “It's nothing beside the truth. Nobody could ever love a mess like me now. Thorin can force anybody he wants in a marriage with me, but it will not change. Pity can't be love.”  
Fili saw Kili's lips moving to form a retort to that, but he kept going “I'm a crippled dwarf, good for nothing practical. Just a busy mind. Nothing to love.”  
  
This time though Fili couldn't stop Kili from speaking up “That's a huge pile of orcshit! You're capable of doing... almost anything!” Kili huffed before crouching down at Fili's eyes level “Nori says that you hold your own well when you two spare, and I can see it too.”  
Dark hair fell down to cover Kili's face as he looked down at the ground. When he raised it again, there was a faint, tender smile on his lips “I've seen you do it. Mahal has blessed you once with your life and the twice giving it back to you” Kili put his hand on Fili's one on the armrest and caressed it “and then again you were blessed a third time, returning the Golden Prince you once were.”  
  
Fili had not it in his heart to break Kili's illusion but he did not feel like that, not at all! So his voice was barely just above a whisper “Kili..”  
  
“You're not a stone that brings us down. You're the stone that lets us build!” there was emotion sparkling in Kili's gorgeous eyes and Fili found himself mirroring it at the last words his brother said.  
  
Not letting that emotion turn into tears or his heart beat too fast, Fili tried to show Kili the last stronghold of reason “Still, that doesn't change that nobody ca-”  
  
Taking Fili's hand in his owns Kili raised it to his forehead, touching the rough knuckles with his skin in reverence “Brother mine, some times you're too deep in politics to notice what happens around you.”  
Kili's voice was soft and warm like when they were dwarflings and he had to share a secret with his brother, his life depending on it no matter how small the matter “You're loved. Everyone loves you. Our friends do. I do.”  
  
“You talk like that 'cause you're my brother. You're trying to comfort me” Fili did not understand why his heart was suddenly squeezing, part in joy part in that odd feeling that something was going wrong and bound to make somebody sad. Fili was an expert in recognizing that feeling, but not in putting a name on it. Maybe Kili was right and Fili was missing a piece of the story.  
  
“It's 'cause we're brother that I don't dare to say the words that I really want, Fili...” Kili looked straight into Fili's eyes, pinning him at the wheelchair once more. Yet those eyes always had the most loving, adoring gazes for Fili. Not even the revealing moment could change that. It was pleasant.  
  
But Kili remained the same bold scoundrel as always, and instead dared to kiss Fili's fingertips.  
  
His cheeks blushing like they were on fire made Fili realize that his brother's hidden words had affected him, and Kili noticed it too.  
  
They both started laughing, looking at one another's face, and it took them a while to regain some sort of composure.  
  
“That will make things awkward,” Fili said, trying to keep down the last chuckles “imagine presenting you as my brother and my lover.”  
  
“It wouldn't be so bad once the scandal wears down” it was more difficult for Kili to let his laugh die.  
  
Fili sighed mockingly “Sure. The crippled heir and his brother turned lover, what a couple!”  
  
Kili rose and used the armrests for leverage to lean his forehead against Fili's “But you wouldn't have it otherwise”  
  
“No. My place is with you” Fili smiled.  
  
  
  
Accepting the other as a lover had felt like such a natural evolving in their relationship that Fili had not given it too much thought.  
  
It was only when some days later during the following political training meeting Thorin made him notice that he was smiling frequently and looked more relaxed that Fili caught up with the heavy implications of Kili and his decision. For a start, Thorin's plan had been foiled.  
  
But for once Fili could not be bothered with others' problems if they could compromise his happiness “Thorin, I think I've already found someone to share Erebor with. He had always been there all along.”  
  
Thorin sighed, covering his face with a wrinkled hand “I feared so...”  
  
“I'm sorry” it was an insincere apology but Fili could offer nothing more.  
  
“My sister's son, you are as pure as a diamond. Even I can see through you. And you're not sorry at all” Thorin moved the hand away uncovering a small smile in his white beard, the smile of somebody who had seen too much horrors in life to oppose someone else's happiness. His nephews' happiness “I hope he will be responsible enough though.”  
  
“I could no ask for a better dwarf to share my soul with, no better dwarf to protect my heart” Fili said, and returned to study on his papers to become Erebor's future king.

 


End file.
